Can I? Can I just have you for silly Saturday afternoons? Can I have you in my arms to laugh and joke with? Can I tell you my entire day in a single stare? Can I watch you as you nuzzle into me? Can I hold you tight and never let you go?
I have an image of me in my mind, the calm, quiet me. The me who you see in the early morning hush of sleepiness and drowsy eyelids. I’m standing there smiling, staring at nothing in particular, simply staring, and smiling. You see there’s a comfort wrapped around me in that imaginary place, the comfort of her. The simplest thought of her, the smell of her hair and the beat of her heart against my chest makes me smile, even though I’ve never held her, or smelt her hair. She still makes me smile. One day that smile will be on my face, but not in that imaginary world, oh no, that smile will be staring back at me from my own mirror.
Loneliness doesn’t hurt the heart. Your heart can find comfort with things that don’t need to be there. Your heart can travel oceans, climb mountains and plunge the deepest seas. Your body however, that’s a different story. Your muscles ache with the echo of a lovers touch long since gone. Your hands become restless with no one to hold. Your lips become cold and your senses dull. That is the hardest part…
Those moments, stopping time in an instant, your eyes meeting as your body rock together as one. The connection set, the passions burning and your souls melt into each other. Only a moment, but a moment is all true lovers need!
Is there a better moment than feeling the sun’s rays caressing your back. Your lips clasped to your lover’s neck as you softly rock against her yearning body. The sweet moaning escaping her lips and travelling smoothly over your ear as her hands hold you closer, words intelligible, yet so clear. Begging for you, crying out for you in perfect ecstasy.
Have you ever wanted to take things slow? I mean hours of endless touching, kissing, holding your lover in your arms. Never more than a few inches from you. Body to body from start to finish. Lips pressed to lips, tongues writhing together in erotic bliss. Carnal wishes pouring through you both. Desire and passion filling the air. I have, would you like to join me?
I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to it crossing my mind every day. The thought of her hair cascading over my face, what would it smell like? The touch of her skin against mine, how soft would it be? Losing myself in her eyes, what would I say? The beat of my heart as she kisses me, what does she taste like? All these things and more, every day, without fail, without rest.
I tire of words, trying to express the yearning my lips hold for you. I wish I could show you the passion you give me. The power you have to make me soar. But I can’t. I have to satisfy myself with simple gestures from a world away. While others are given the fortune to speak your name to your ear and have you listen. I won’t give up. One day I’ll hold you in my arms and whisper the words that I fail to convey on the page. One day you’ll know the yearning my lips hold for you.
That instant when sex becomes less about intercourse and more about the two of you. Your kiss becomes a succession of breathless gasps and wordless gestures. Your eyes open with so much love it’s hard to contain, staring at the person who is making your body sing. Hands travelling with a mind of their own, touching, caressing, scratching, absent-mindedly traversing every contour of each other like you’ve never done before. Your appreciation of one another takes flight and soars as your bodies melt together, every movement slow, delivering electric bliss through your sinews. Slowly disappearing into silence as you stop time for that moment!
Ever have that moment that you wished would last forever? Your heart racing in your chest, not knowing whether the courage you feel is from the drink or from a sense of your situation. Your body feels stiff as you lean toward her, your eyes darting from hers to her lips. Your mind runs through the possible outcomes and you hesitate for a moment, briefly looking at her with pitiful eyes, imploring her to reciprocate. She smiles. Her lip, momentarily, disappearing as she nibbles just a little, staring into the dirt then flashing those beautiful eyes at you once more. Her body moves, unsure whether it was her or your own trembling self, you wait. Yes! Your mind dances for joy as you see her moving closer. She wants it too, you weren’t wrong, the happiness over flows, you move faster now. Closer, closer still until, stop! What if you’re no good? What if she laughs? Your heart explodes into rapid fire once more as you contemplate that final inch. You swallow, your mouth arid with uncertainty. You lips quiver as you push forward, "It’s now or never!" you tell yourself and as you close your eyes you feel her. Those lips you’ve stared at for so long as they press softly against yours. Angels sing in the background, fireworks burst in silence overhead, in that moment, you hold heaven…in her!